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TIME OUT:
When your child behaves improperly, the goal
is to point out the error and explain why
it is wrong. One way to do this is a method
called "Time Out."
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Rules for Time Out:
- Select a place such as a corner, hallway
or other non-threatening
area, which will
allow the child
to think about
his/her behavior.
A good rule of
thumb is to let
the child
spend one minute
in "time out" for each year of age, up to ten minutes.
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Specify for the child the behavior that will
require him/her
to take "time out." Start with only a few behaviors-write them
down.
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When it becomes necessary to call "time out," be sure to identify the unacceptable behavior
to the child, tell
how long he/she must stay
in "time out," and begin timing. (Depending on the age
of the child, you may want to discuss alternative
behaviors that would have been acceptable.)
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Be calm and consistent-don't give up if the
child becomes upset.
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When time is up, allow the child to return
to normal activities without further comment.
Rules of Discipline:
To Discipline Means to Teach!
Discipline
is NOT punishment. |
- Be Firm: Once you make an essential rule, stick
by it. If the neighbor's rose garden is off
limits, it is always off limits.
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Be Consistent: Do not ignore minor bumps and bruises one
day, and then go along with crying over a
slight hurt the next day.
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Praise desired behavior: When your child waits for a cookie while
you finish making a telephone call, say "Thank
you for waiting" and make sure to add
a hug and a smile.
- Be loving: As long as your child feels the security
of your love, his reaction to discipline
will probably be positive. When he is denied
love, his fragile world breaks apart and
his reaction to discipline becomes random.
Alternatives to Spanking:
- Diversion - Works best with young children to diver
their attention from
something they should
not be doing. Re-direct
behavior: If one
behavior is a problem,
take that energy
and
have them do another
positive action:
crayon
on wall - have paper
available. Throwing
sand - give them
a ball to throw,
etc.
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Time Out - This allows both sides to cool off when
things get heated,
and it's better and
more
effective than using
physical punishment,
as long as time out
is kept short and
simple,
i.e. sitting in a
boring place for
one or
two minutes. Explain
what they did that
was
unacceptable and
what they are supposed
to
do instead. Use a
timer, when time
out is
over, notice good
behavior and praise
your
child for it. This
will let them know
you
are aware of his
good points too.
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Ignore - Ignore behavior that will not harm them,
this should not be
used in dangerous
situations.
Bad habits, such
as whining, bad language
and tantrums are
hard to ignore; however
this lack of attention
takes away the very
audience they are
seeking.
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Reminder of Rules - All families have rules, some are unspoken
and unwritten. If
you feel the child
has
forgotten the rules,
it often helps the
child
to remind him/her
about the rules without
using threats. A
helpful phrase that
can
be used is "In this house we do…". When rules are being forgotten too often,
maybe it's time for
everyone to go over
the
rules and make some
changes.
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Logical Consequences - Let the action do the "talking", i.e. misuse a toy - toy gets taken away
for a period of time,
crayons on the wall
- you have them wash
the wall, missed
a curfew
- this is subtracted
from their next outing.
You must make sure
the "punishment fits the crime", in other words try not to make the consequences
outweigh the behavior.
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Click here to find out about "Shaken
Baby Syndrome" |
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